Sadness

It really has started to sink in...the fact that the transfer didn't take the first time and I don't understand why. That's the typical feeling most get when they "want" to be pregnant. I wasn't sure how it would all affect me, since biologically the child we want to create is not mine. Honestly, it is a different feeling but still leaves me sad at the end of the day.

Of course through my agency I have a wonderful support system, where many surrogates post questions and answers to just about everything related to their journeys. It has been very helpful so far, but today...I felt sadness. It was probably brought on after reading about other surrogates who transferred around the same time as me, but they are getting a BFP and a BETA number. To keep my chin up I keep telling myself over and over again that it just wasn't time yet...but it is so hard when the failure is too fresh. Maybe I should stay off the computer this weekend...or week just so I can emotionally recuperate...sigh...

In need of a hug...