Meds

Want to be on them...don't want to be on them.
The longer I am taking them the crazier I feel...
Know I need to take them for a successful journey...isn't there a different combination?

This morning I looked at my stomach as I was squeezing it before I pushed more Lupron and into it and thought, "Oh damn, next weekend starts the BIG needles. I am SO not ready!!"
(and I don't think my arse is either)

Shots and Drugs

Last week I was finally able to reduce my 10 cc of Lupron down to 5 cc. I really don't think it helps with my emotional state of being, since after reducing I started taking estrace 2x a day! If I were really going through IVF for myself, I don't know if I could tolerate all the meds much longer along with the state of being crazy! I understand how badly women and men want to be parents, but for the woman -all I can say is wow - it is such a lengthy process and not everyday is full of sunshine.

The shots in the stomach don't really hurt, just the stab itself. Although this time around, I have a lot more bruising but only on one side. Maybe the left side of my body is more sensitive?
The left side of my body is going through a lot - bruising, my eye constantly twitches off and on (which drives me nuts when I drive), my left side tends to tingle and fall asleep often (the right side chimes in once in awhile). I know that most of these things are temporary, but I'm sure there will be some type of long-term effects too.

On that note, I keep praying that the 3rd transfer is going to be it. I have reduced my caffeine intake and am really pushing the water. I'm down to one cup of coffee a day :) If you asked me to give that up too, I'd probably rip out your eyes and of course blame all the meds I'm on.

My family of course just endures everything - sometimes there's a response to one of my mood swings or "biting" of the head, but not often. I think they've all learned to accept the new me.

My IF is really looking forward to becoming a father. His birthday is next weekend and he shares it with his only niece. He recently moved to a new place and has been remodeling almost every room. He hopes this will all be done by summertime. He's very anxious to become a father...2010...it's the year!

Another eight days and I'll have the official fluffiness check. They'll do all the measuring of my uterus and check the ovaries again. The last two times everything on my end has been perfect - progesterone levels, thickness, everything...let's hope this time it's just a little better so one of those embies decides to stick around.

Speaking of embies, my IF emailed me today and said that Dr. D decided we should only do 3 embies again. I was hoping for 4 this time - since 3 didn't take the first two times and they were supposedly eggs from proven donors. I think in total they've tried to make embies with 5 different donors - yikes! Don't you think there's got to be at least one that wants to take up space?

Until the fluffy check...