A one year old?

How does time go by so quickly? Just a year ago I was sitting here not sure whether or not I would deliver the 2nd or the 3rd, since I was overdue I knew it would be either one. My husband stayed home from work to go with me to the doctor but I knew before we arrived that I was already in labor. We headed to the hospital and by 9:02 pm, our little Cadence Sophia was born. She was absolutely perfect.

I know I am a little biased since I am her mommy, but she really is a special little girl. She smiles and laughs all the time. She's a great dancer already and I know she'll be climbing mountains someday -the stairs will do for now. Also, Cadie loves food. She doesn't turn her nose up to anything! Last night she even ate some of a lemon!

Since our celebration is tomorrow I am excited about our friends and family coming over. We'll have some snacks but most importantly we'll get to watch Cadie "dive" into her first cake! A friend and co-worker of mine made her 1st birthday cake. It is a big yellow duck sitting on a pond! It is the cutest thing ever. We chose a duck because Cadie's first word was, "Quack!"

As far as my surrogacy journey goes, I found out I passed the psych evaluation. My husband said, "You probably passed by one point!" He thinks he should be a comedian! Does anyone else have a husband like mine? Ha Ha Ha

Next, the IVF clinic will be contacting me to set up my medical screening. Hopefully that will happen by Memorial Day because contractually I cannot take any time off until June 22nd. I am still a little apprehensive about going to the clinic alone. I'll be gone from my family for two days and in a city where I know no one. I've asked my case manager a few questions and once I have those answers I am sure I'll feel more at ease.

Because of time, we probably won't get to a transfer until late July or early August. That works just fine for me :) I'd like to enjoy July with my family and the meds I'll be on. Whoo hoo!

My IF's best friend contacted me today for the first time. Her email showed so much compassion and thoughtfulness that I am looking forward to getting to know her too as well.

Matched!

We're matched! I am happy to say that after all of the "possiblities" I've finally been matched with an IF from Sweden. He is just the sweetest, compassionate man. We spent about an hour speaking on the phone on Sunday and after some careful thinking, we both have agreed to begin this wonderful journey together. Since my IF lives in Sweden we will not be able to meet until the transfer (makes me sad), but luckily we both can use Skype, so I think it'll all work out in the end. Our hope is spend at least a day together before a FET and then he'll return to my hometown afterwards for a bit. I truly feel blessed.

Onto our next steps - psych evals, medical screening, and contracts. Hopefully most of this will all be worked out over the next month and we'll be able to start meds in June. Baby steps...

How many is too many?

I'm four weeks into the matching phase of this surrogacy journey and my profile has been viewed or considered by four IFs and as of yesterday a fifth!

1. The agency told us of the first IP from Sweden, but due to a previous surro circumstance the IP wasn't ready to match again.

2. Then, there was a possible US match but we live in the town where one of the IPs grew up and still have family and friends residing.

3. It was possible to be matched with an IF from Israel but because our philosophies differed on one thing - no match!

4. Then, a French IP but our state and France don't have compatible laws.

Of course two wonderful case managers are working diligently and are completely assured that they will find the perfect match -

5. SO another IP from Sweden was sent my profile yesterday. I haven't heard anything as of yet and don't expect to until after the holidays.

Here's a little Acrostic poem that displays my feelings:

P -arent who's
A -nticipating the
T -ime an
I -nterested IP/IF is
E-ager and will
N-ever give-up with a
C-autious, yet
E-xcited surrogate

Another week

After about five days I was becoming anxious again and had not heard anything from the four women I've talked to at our agency thus far - so I emailed all four of them and within an hour, two wrote back. They updated us with a lot of details and I felt some relief.

We got some more information about our possible match. After close review, the IF decided against us since we live in the same town one of them grew up in! Can you imagine that? I thought that might be a benefit since the IF would've had some local support throughout my surrogacy, but I respect their wishes since I don't know the "whole" story.

So, where does that leave us now? Back in the hands of our first case worker, K. After our first try with the IF from Sweden she looked at an IF from Israel. They're waiting on the legal match - whether or not Israel will match with our state. We'll see.

I know there's a family just right for me and the agency I am with - is well known for making the "best" matches!!! It's something definitely worth waiting for - it's just hard to wait!

My end of spring break

Well it's Friday and my 'lil moose and I have had a wonderful week. She's really beginning to show more of her personality. I truly am blessed to have three wonderful children and to get the opportunity to stay at home for an entire week with our 10 month old. She's become obsessed with the dog's water dish - she LOVES to splash in it! She also 'tickles' my feet now and acts shy around strangers. She's talking a lot more too - she says, "qck, qck" for duck (I think) and, " tcsh, tcsh" for tickle-tickle. I'll definitely be looking forward to spending six weeks with her and my other kids this summer.

A surrogacy note - we have a new sw to work with and she's sent our file to a family. I am actually becoming a bit frustrated with the entire process. I asked my original sw about the "options" in my state twice and still have NOT received an answer. I may just have to get back on SMO boards and see if anyone else has had the same issues with the agency. Hopefully, that seems to be my new word, we'll get some information over the weekend to ponder.

~j

BTW: the crazy weather in the country is driving me nuts!!

GS in waiting

It's been about a week now that we were "approved" all around to become a GS. Last week's possibility had us excited but now the agency said they have to ask an attorney from our state if surrogacy is legal with some international countries. Maybe I am wrong here, but don't you think the agency would already have a list?

The weekend was long and I tried to occupy myself with my family. Do you know how hard that is to do when you are anticipating something so huge? If you are reading my blog, I am sure you do - and in fact, I know there will be many more times to come. Anyone who knows me, knows I am not the "patient" type - I try to be, but somehow it never works!

After reading some surrogacy blogs, I am now fully aware of how many hoops every GS must jump thru to help a family bring to life their dreams of becoming parents. It makes me ask: Why can some have multiple children and others none? It definitely makes me question a lot in this world.

A few more spring break days for me...hopefully we'll have some news by next week.
~j

Possible Match

Yesterday, we received a few questions from a possible match via our case manager. All four questions were typical explanations for answers on the original questionnaire. I felt I answered them openly and honestly. We learned that our possible IP was from Sweden which brought much excitement to both me and my husband. My husband traveled to Sweden about 15 years ago and his father has a great understanding of their culture..he loves it there. My husband and I both thought this would be the one.

Unfortunately, today we got the news about our IP and he decided because of a previous matter (past surrogate match) that he really needed to wait a month before starting the process again. We both agreed that the IP is making the best decision for himself and his future family. We wish him the best.

So what does that mean for us now? Well, our cm is looking to match us with another IP(s) soon. We're hopeful that she'll find the right one for us.

St. Patty's Day

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and the sky was blue. I spent the day with my two girls, my husband and a friend at the parade. Then we all headed back home to relax and talk.

My husband got his phone call from the agency today. He was asked many of the same questions as I was, but also had an opportunity to learn more about the process, side effects, and insurance. Now that this little hurdle was accomplished we could hear by the end of the week if they've matched us with a family. The hard part is waiting, but we've only been waiting for three months and the families have already waited at least 4-6 months just with the agency - who knows how long they've tried or waited to start a family.

I can say first hand that wanting a family and getting a family is not always easy; for some, yes, but not all...my husband and I can attest to that. We miscarried about 2 1/2 years ago, it was very early and was probably a chemical pregnancy, but it had a huge impact on us both. It took me about six months before I even wanted to try to conceive again. Luckily, after about 6 months we conceived our now 10 month old little girl.

Our experience I know is not comparable to any family that has turned to surrogacy.

Another topic of conversation is how are we going to tell or explain our choice to become a surrogate to others around us. Many people I think will be accepting, but others will not. Fortunately, we do have a small support group that we've already confided in and they completely understand our desire to "foster" a child for our "extended" family.

If anyone out there has experience, please let me know.

~night

On our way

Tonight I spent about an hour speaking to a case worker with our agency. I learned so much more through our conversation about the process of being matched and what will happen once all the paperwork is complete.

I can safely say that my husband, kids, and I are only at the beginning of an amazing experience.

My heart is so full right now - I know what I have chosen to do is right.

Insurance Approved!

After our initial application was accepted with our surrogacy agency, my husband was finally able to retrieve enough documentation that the lawyers could piece together for our insurance. Thankfully, our insurance will cover the maternity for a IF but I am still worried that once we are matched somehow the insurance will backfire! I am trying to be optimistic and it was a huge hurdle according to J at the agency.

Now that the insurance has been pieced together, we're waiting to hear from our case manager, L, who will do an initial screening over the phone. I believe after this happens it could be less than two weeks and we'll be matched with an IF.

It's been a long eight weeks already, but I've been able to do a lot more reading on message boards and blogs. I am still interested in how GS handle all the shots and hormones and how it really effects their families; anyone out there, please let me know!

If all goes well, we'll be matched and by summer my husband, lucky C, will start giving me injections just in time for the heat to hit Iowa. I know timing is everything and I really believe that this is our time to sacrifice, to help someone create a baby...a family...